


sister for sale

by capncrunchy



Series: an all-american family [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Civil War Fix-It, Kid Fic, Kid POV, Kinda?, M/M, Mentions of Separation, Mpreg, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Superfamily, but you can pretend its not, so there's misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 17:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19361755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capncrunchy/pseuds/capncrunchy
Summary: Eight-year-old Harley is absolutely against getting a new sibling, and he's got a plan to put a stop to it, as well as his parents' bickering.





	sister for sale

**Author's Note:**

> Don't know where this came from, but whatever--here it is! Pa = Steve, Dad = Tony.
> 
> Set in the months following Civil War, but perhaps a civil war where things weren't soooo bad (like without all the fighting, just verbal?), lmao I'm not sure.

At eight years old, Harley had to admit he wasn’t very sure of all too much just yet. He was still trying to figure out a lot of stuff. Like why he had to go to school. Or why his parents had to fight the bad guys of the world and he couldn’t (at least not yet). Or why his Aunt Natasha had red hair, even though his Pa was supposed to be the Irish one, and weren’t Irish people supposed to be the redheads? Didn’t make any sense! 

However, Harley was absolutely sure of one thing in particular. He did not want another sibling, especially a _sister_. As soon as his Pa had told him, he was completely against this new advancement. Weren’t him and Peter enough for his parents? He sure thought so, him and Peter were so cool! Especially him, because he managed to finish building the Lego Death Star, all by himself—and he was pretty sure Peter had needed Ned’s help to finish _his_. 

Besides, his Pa and Dad were supposed to be super heroes, didn’t they know it was bad to be outnumbered by the enemy? And they were doing exactly that, all to _themselves_! 

Even worse, Harley was pretty sure that his parents were never together anymore _because_ of the baby. Dad was always away, working on Stark Industries and Avengers stuff, at least that’s what he told Harley and Peter whenever he came to the complex or when they went to stay with him. Dad was saying a lot of stuff about “separation” and him and Pa trying to work on things together, trying to rebuild their relationship. But still, Harley knew the truth.

He really couldn’t blame his Dad for wanting to be away all the time, because the baby was making Pa really crazy sometimes, and it wasn’t even born _yet_. He was really grumpy and sad all the time, Harley even caught him crying one time Aunt Nat was over, and she always made him laugh, so that was _super_ weird. He couldn’t even give Harley piggy-back rides anymore, because his stomach was too big—thanks to the baby. 

Or like today, Pa’d yelled at Harley for making a mess in the kitchen, and wouldn’t even listen when he’d tried to explain that he was making pancakes for everyone. Simply told him to clean up the mess and stormed back off to his bedroom. Wow, he should’ve been the one being told to clean up, he still had his pajamas on.

Even Peter hadn’t been on his side! “Pa’s really not feeling well today and you have to be real nice to him,” he’d said. 

The nerve! As if Peter even cared about being nice to Pa. In reality, the two were constantly getting into fights nowadays, since Peter was always coming home so late, and almost always with a black eye or a couple of bruises. Not that Harley cared anyways, since Peter never wanted to hang out with him, too busy with _school_. 

God, it was really a struggle being the only sane person left in the family!

But Harley had a plan, he was going to take care of this problem, and put an end to all of this new baby business, and bring his family back together. He knew he had to work fast because Pa said the said baby would be arriving any day now. 

His plan would begin by getting rid of all of the baby’s stuff that Pa had piled in the guest room. Pa obviously wasn’t very committed to this new baby, since he'd hardly moved any of the furniture out of the room (he was pretty sure babies didn’t sleep in grown-up beds), so he didn’t think he’d mind too much. 

Harley could hardly contain his disgust as he packed the horrid amount of tiny, pink items into a suitcase. But he was quite pleased with himself, as the first part of his plan was complete—helping the baby move out of their house. Though, he’d definitely need Peter’s help for the next part, finding the baby a new home. 

He knocked on Peter’s door, and added a few more knocks for good measure when he didn’t get an immediate response. 

“Whaaat,” Peter groaned, when he realized who was waiting on the other side of the door, which was really rude, Harley had to add.

 

“Peter, you’ve got to help me,” Harley started, but Peter didn’t even let him finish his thought and interrupted him, “What? Is something wrong? Does Pa need something?” 

 

“No… Well, yes. Sort of?” Harley tried to explain, but Peter just looked confused and a little worried. “I’ve got a plan that’s gonna fix everything!” 

 

Peter still looked confused, so Harley pushed his way into his brother’s room, ready to explain his plot, “I need you to help me find a new family for the baby! Do you think Aunt May would take her, she loves kids and she’s got a really cool cat! Or maybe, do you think Sam would take it, I feel like he’d really love a baby, he loves us! He probably wouldn’t even mind that it’s a girl! Wait! Do you think M.J. would take it, I feel like she’s really responsible, and then we’d hardly have to see it! Come on, don’t just stand there! Can you start texting them or something? We could have a bidding war if they all want her?” 

“Harley, I think you’ve got somethings confused,” Peter said softly, sitting next to Harley on the bed, “Why do you want to get rid of the new baby?” 

Ugh, for someone that was supposed to be really smart, his brother sure could be dumb sometimes! “What don’t you understand, Peter! This is going to fix everything!”

“What do you even mean? What are you trying to fix?”

Now this really confused Harley, he was sure that Peter would understand this part of the plan, was sure that he wasn’t the only one who could see that the baby had messed up their family, broken up their parents. “This will fix our family, don’t you see that!”

Peter looked really sad now, “Buddy, I don’t think the new baby is causing all of that. Maybe you need to talk to Pa.”

Now that really upset Harley. Peter was supposed to be his partner, his brother—the one on his side! Helping him whenever he needed him, kind of like Bucky and Pa back in the war, but he was treating him like he was the baby! The stupid one! “Stop! I’m not dumb, ever since Pa told us about the new baby, Dad never comes home anymore and you are always gone, and I’m left bored and all by myself! Maybe it’s not the new baby that needs to go, maybe it’s me!”

He was trying to hold back his tears, he was supposed to better than this, but it was really hard. Peter tried to put his arm around Harley, but he shrugged him off. He didn’t need a hug, he needed to get his plan going!

“Hey, kids—Looks who’s back,” Dad entered the room, but stopped quickly, along with his theatrics, “Now what in the world is going on in here?”

When Pa also entered the room, Harley felt himself practically shriveling up, his plan was sure to be foiled now. “Boys, we heard yelling,” Pa started, but stopped, probably when he saw the cursed tear, and came to sit next to Harley, “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Harley wiped at his eyes, “I’m not a baby, and I’m not your son anymore. I’m running away.” 

Pa and Dad shared a confused—and probably a little concerned—look, and Peter qualified, “I think Harley’s got the wrong idea about some things.” 

Dad came to sit on the floor in front of the bed, “What’s going, kiddo? First, you’re packing up your sister’s things—” _Yeah_ , _plan_ _was_ _definitely_ _foiled_ , “—and now you’re packing up yours?”

Harley let out a shaky breath, looking at the ground, because he was feeling embarrassed. “Ever since Pa started talking about the new baby, Dad is always gone, and Peter’s always out late and fighting with Pa, so I was trying to make things easier on everyone by making a plan to get rid of her whenever she’s born. But not even Peter will help me,” He quickly added, “And it’s not like I’m gonna send her somewhere bad, I was gonna take her to Aunt May’s or something!”

Dad let out a booming laugh, and Peter was quick to follow, adding to Harley’s horror and causing him to start crying again, but this time it was only angry tears. Pa shot his brother and Dad a stern look, effectively silencing them, and pulled Harley close to him, “Honey, I’m sorry we haven’t been more honest with you, but I can assure you it’s not the baby’s fault that everything has been so crazy between all of us for the last few months.” 

Harley tried to pull away, but his Pa was really strong, “Then if not the baby, then why! You and Dad are supposed to love each other, all the time! That’s what you guys always said! Why would you just _stop?_ I bet it was over something dumb, too. Because you guys are so _dumb_.” He crossed his arms, and pouted, but he knew he was right. Probably. 

Now, Peter was the only one laughing, but he quickly stopped when he saw the shocked look on Dad’s face and the sad one on Pa’s. “You’re right, Harley,” Dad made his way on to the bed between Harley and Peter, “We are supposed to love each other, and we’re trying, we’re really trying to work on that, but you see, Pa and I really hurt each other’s feelings a few months ago, and we’ve got to figure that out still.” 

That didn’t convince Harley at all, “Why don’t you just say sorry. That’s what me and Peter always do, or what you make us do,” he added with a grumble.

Pa smiled softly, “Do you remember the time that Peter broke your favorite Lego set? He said he was sorry, right?” Harley nodded, but he wasn’t seeing where this was going. “But you still didn’t talk to him for a whole week after, why was that?”

Harley gapped, horrified that his Pa had forgotten just how mad he was at Peter, “I was still mad! He really messed up that time, and I still haven’t forgotten!” Peter chuckled, so Harley sent him a glowering look. 

Pa poked him in the ribs, “See, sometimes it’s hard to forgive and forget. But Dad and I are really trying, we’ve been seeing someone that helps us talk to each other a little better.” 

“I’m gonna be moving back here soon, too,” Dad announced, “That is, if you don’t decide to pack up my things, like your sister’s.” 

Ugh, sister. Harley had almost forgotten. “So, this isn’t the baby’s fault?” 

Pa and Dad looked at each other, smiling. “Nope, unfortunately this is all on me and Dad,” Pa explained, but still smiled warmly at Dad.

“Wait, so why has Peter been so angry all the time!” Some things were still not adding up for Harley, and he wanted to be sure to cover all his bases before he ended his plan for good. 

“I guess I knew a little more about the situation than you did,” Peter finally spoke up, “It was upsetting me that Pa and Dad weren’t getting along, and I guess I took it out on Pa, since he was here the most… I—I’m sorry.” 

Pa nodded and smiled, “I’m sorry too, pal. But just ‘cuz you’re upset with us, doesn’t mean you get to go out fighting crimes whenever you feel like it… Spider-Man.”

Dad laughed, “Huh! Wonder where he got that from,” and Pa reached around Harley to sock him in the shoulder. It was almost like old times. 

 

“WAIT, Peter is not Spider-Man from Youtube, that’s impossible—he’s just a _kid_.” Harley roared when he realized what his Pa had said. Dad let out another laugh, but Pa just shook his head.

 

“Sorry, kiddo, you’re looking at your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man!” Peter flexed his muscles proudly, but Harley just rolled his eyes, clearly unimpressed. 

 

“Wow, so that’s it?” Harley sighed, then cracked a smile, “I’m still getting a baby sister after all?” Pa moved Harley’s hand to where his little sister was kicking up a storm, “I’m afraid so, pal. But hey, at least you won’t _officially_ be the baby anymore.” 

Dad put his arm around Harley and Peter, “I promise your Pa and I are gonna work things out, we always do. Because we love each other, and I guess we love you guys too,” He ruffled Harley’s hair for good measure. “But, Harley, I think you’ve got to unpack your sister’s things, because if Pa’s readings are correct, she’s going to be arriving pretty soon.” 

 

“Ugh, like how soon,” Harley groaned, he’d spent so long getting all that stuff into a suitcase and he was not in the mood to do it again. 

 

“Uh, like today soon,” Dad asserted, mirroring Harley’s disheveled tone. Harley turned to look at his Pa with a shocked look, “So that’s why you were so mean this morning! Why didn’t you _say_ anything?” 

 

Pa smiled sheepishly, “Hey, I’ve been telling you all week that she would be here soon, I figured you’d be on your A-game at all times!” Harley shook his head, “Wow, I am so out of the loop.” 

 

“Hey,” Dad grabbed him by the shoulder, “Not for much longer! We’re gonna bring honesty and all other American values back in style, your Pa’s not Captain America for no reason, right?” 

 

— 

 

Later that day, right on track with Pa’s predictions, Harley’s little sister Maria was born. Dad came into Peter’s room where they were playing video games to pass the time and told the two of them that they could finally come see Pa and the baby. 

Pa was in bed, with the tiniest little bundle wrapped in his arms, and he had the biggest smile on his face. “Wanna come get a closer look?” At that, Harley quietly scooted on to the bed, and peered down at the smallest—and cutest—person he’d ever seen. She had fluffy, blonde hair, and her face was so pink. “What do you think?” Dad said, with a smile that might have been even bigger than Pa’s. Harley ran a finger down her chubby cheek, “I think she’s the coolest person ever.” 

Pa shared a look with Dad, “Still want to give her away? Aunt May could probably still swing by and pick her up.”

Harley looked up at him in horror, then quickly back to his little sister, “No, definitely not.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! xx


End file.
